A holding pattern means that an airplane is on a specific holding course before landing. To sum up. At least that’s what I read, because I'm definitely not a pilot.
So, I have no idea how the words came to me and kept repeating at the back of my mind for a week or so: “Holding patterns.”, “You are on a holding pattern.” I felt growing tiredness, lack of interest in the things I had been raging about before, and I couldn’t listen to my ‘recently listened’ list on Spotify anymore. So I Googled the words that had been yelled at me and sure enough, the wise Web dictionary stated my missing one-sentence explanation for the feelings of it.
A holding pattern is “a state of waiting or suspended activity or progress.” [merriam-webster]. While ‘holding patterns‘ could mean different things to different people, for me that meant being stuck on the things that worked for me a month ago and still trying to implement them to a new month and new energies.
You know, every day is different for you, every month certainly is different, as are years. We have to change according to them. That's what my holding pattern was about. I’m sure I, and others, have multiple similar patterns that might be outdated but go unnoticed.
All the things that worked well, fine and super in January, and I got tons of energy from, started latently pulling me backwards. Weeks went by, until I was so tired and over-emotional, still running on my January feelings in the middle of February, that only a full stop: a sit-down and a meditation could break. And I released my former patterns, and started focusing on new ones. A blank page. Or as Taylor would say: a Blank Space. Either way, they are both very creative.
As we become more mindful and focused in our lives and the energies around us, it’s easier to spot any imbalances. I'm still learning to be mindful and I don’t think the process ever ends. It wouldn't have been a huge disaster if I’d kept my blinds on for this. But as I felt a growing disconnection with all the tasks I had been doing in the past four weeks, I really set myself up to energetically brighter and more focused days and weeks ahead by visiting Ground Zero. Well, until the next shake to change things around. But hopefully that will be with the flow of life, not holding onto what has happened and trying to carry it into the future.
I hope this makes sense to you somehow. Of course, you will take it as only you would and shape it to your own life. I have loved, and related to, this Heraclitus quote: “The only thing that is consistent is change.”
To all my amazing and dear friends who are stuck in their beloved patterns and actually really enjoying them, Heraclitus is right. In the end, change is inevitable, and if we can get over that fact, it becomes easier to change things up constantly in our lives. Welcome new people, new energy, new clothes, new music, new places, new books, new things to look forward to, new destinations, new plans, new surroundings, new things to focus on, and accept them gladly. I decided, kind of intuitively that at least every few weeks, I'll start looking for old patterns or feelings that should go. Especially now as we’re entering spring, which is all about awakening and renewing. What a perfect time.
By Johanna
